Making Films Gifts

Attack of the Really Lame Stick Figures

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Director/Action Man toy.

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

Herman Mankiewicz

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

Horror movies

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

No-Work Orange

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Comedy Cafe

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Cut!

Stand-up Romcom

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."