Film And Production Gifts

"The public's taste in entertainment has certainly changed."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Director/Action Man toy.

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

Herman Mankiewicz

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Cut!

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

Kritik's Korner

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"Say hello to my little friend."

Candid Camera store.

The star hunters