Film Production Gifts

"OK, we need the body double for the eating scene."

'I know you're watching the budget, but this isn't really doing justice to the battle of Waterloo.'

"It's always 'Get me a Godzilla type,' never 'Get me Godzilla!'"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"I want to kill my parents and sell the film rights."

A fly on the wall documentary.

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

'We've got a treat for you. We've put all our home movies on DVD.'

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

The Prozac Story: 'It's a feel-good movie.'

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

Hannibal "I turned down the part of one of his meals."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'Sadly the characters are still one-dimensional.'

Actor has his cowboy out fit from wardrobe dept at TV studio with an arrow already through the shirt.

Hollywood producer.

Kiefer Sutherland

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"Okay, so here's my pitch . . . this movie should be 89 minutes long but it clocks in at 2:42 . . ."

"We'd like to make your greeting card into a movie trilogy."

The writing team arrives on set.

True Story Movie

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

Christopher Nolan caricature

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"

Diane Lane caricature

"The role is subtly nuanced and the person we choose has to bring a sense of 'lots of money for the producers' to the part."

"Don't mind the documentary crew."

"Now let's run through it once more, Mr. Harkness, and this time try not to shut your eyes when you pull the trigger."

"Which part are you reading for?"

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

May I have the envelope, please?

Movies made for under eight million dollars.

Where Will It All End?