Home Cooking Fan Gifts

'The bill, you're joking! I never used to pay my mum.'

"Oh man. Tia Carmen's making that soup with all those weird vegetables."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Barbeque Casualty.

Ode to a Grill

'Guess what I've got for lunch today...a piece of my wife's delicious rum cake.'

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

"Does it come with magnets?"

'What kind of...'

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

Wall Cluck.

'And stir to a smooth consistency.'

Smaller shoe being built onto a shoe house.

'You sure we can't afford another ladder?'

'Excuse me sir, how do you feel about artificial intelligence?'

'An occasional table... what is it the rest of the time?'

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

Rep-Tiles.

"Since we're off the grid, Madge does the cooking over a bonfire."

'When I asked for something woody with a great finish, they said I should try the paneling department at Home Depot.'

'All I said was,'do you want decking,sir?'

Avon lady (selling foundation cream) tapping a builder on the shoulder.

Easter Bunny watching 'Dye Hard.'

'Needs salt.'

'I know junk e-mail is everywhere but spam on toast?'

'Bill, in the country it's a CELLAR not a BASEMENT! I won't come down 'til you use the proper term.'

"Look, darling, I've recorded your favourite meal."

Mum's home cooked meals - vending machine.

The Life Cycle of Cholent

'I think it's time to clean out the refrigerator.'