Homemade Cooking Fan Gifts

'Guess what I've got for lunch today...a piece of my wife's delicious rum cake.'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Barbeque Casualty.

Ode to a Grill

Turtle Trailer Court

'Where do I put the batteries?'

"I'm a monster."

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'It says for best work out to dismantle and reassemble.'

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

'arrrgh! home haircut disaster.'

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

'Well, that does not yet look like a wall. Try it again, Liam!'

"My Dad made it himself but I get the feeling he's never seen 'Iron Man'."

'Well, Tom, your blood sugar is way too high!'

'And stir to a smooth consistency.'

'What kind of...'

Wall Cluck.

Home Improvement Programme - "I'm afraid your teenage son will have to go."

'You sure we can't afford another ladder?'

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

"Since we're off the grid, Madge does the cooking over a bonfire."

Now! That's very good sweety!

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

"Dad, I need some help building my lowrider bike."

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

"The carpet really brings the room together."

8th Annual Chainsaw Carving Competition

Library DIY Section

Impossicle.

"On the plus side, all the ingredients are local."

'That's not going to start the car.'