Homemade Cooking Fan Pillows

'Guess what I've got for lunch today...a piece of my wife's delicious rum cake.'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Barbeque Casualty.

Ode to a Grill

'Where do I put the batteries?'

"I'm a monster."

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'It says for best work out to dismantle and reassemble.'

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

'arrrgh! home haircut disaster.'

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'Well, that does not yet look like a wall. Try it again, Liam!'

Wall Cluck.

'What kind of...'

'Well, Tom, your blood sugar is way too high!'

'And stir to a smooth consistency.'

Home Improvement Programme - "I'm afraid your teenage son will have to go."

'You sure we can't afford another ladder?'

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

"Dad, I need some help building my lowrider bike."

"The carpet really brings the room together."

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

"Since we're off the grid, Madge does the cooking over a bonfire."

Now! That's very good sweety!

8th Annual Chainsaw Carving Competition

Library DIY Section

"On the plus side, all the ingredients are local."

'That's not going to start the car.'

Impossicle.

'All I said was,'do you want decking,sir?'