Diy Fan Gifts

"Some assembly required."

'Thank goodness for duct tape.'

Home Improvement Programme - "I'm afraid your teenage son will have to go."

'arrrgh! home haircut disaster.'

"Our entry level model is built out of pressure-treated fence boards. You could even bury it on your property line and ask your neighbor to split the cost."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

Library DIY Section

The benefits of decorating

"It's really cold outside. You might want to put on two coats."

"Dad, I need some help building my lowrider bike."

'Well, that does not yet look like a wall. Try it again, Liam!'

Lunchbox and radio built into wall.

"I'm an X-Acto Knife Tester."

'Where do I put the batteries?'

Cut out and keep Shepherd.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'Guess what I've got for lunch today...a piece of my wife's delicious rum cake.'

Desert Island Mishap

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

'It says for best work out to dismantle and reassemble.'

A cock up of builders

Back in a snap (chiropractor).

"Shall I kiss it better?"

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

'What kind of...'

Mower Repair

Closet.

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

'You sure we can't afford another ladder?'

"The carpet really brings the room together."

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

Now! That's very good sweety!

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'