Home Improvement Fan Gifts

'Bill, in the country it's a CELLAR not a BASEMENT! I won't come down 'til you use the proper term.'

'You sure we can't afford another ladder?'

Man nails in a picture of boxing wearing boxing gloves.

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

Avon lady (selling foundation cream) tapping a builder on the shoulder.

'No, Ralph can't come out to play. He's painting the kitchen today!'

Don't hang up, sir- you haven't got a wrong number.

'All I said was,'do you want decking,sir?'

'What would it cost to change it into a one-way glass house?'

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'Where do I put the batteries?'

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'Still having problems finding day care?'

"Life is so much easier since I brought the XL Robovax for Clive."

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

Scientists building a tower

'arrrgh! home haircut disaster.'

"Does it come with magnets?"

The bulb family leaves for vacation

'Well, that does not yet look like a wall. Try it again, Liam!'

'Gurkenman! The fact that you've got a height-adjustable desk does not mean that you've been promoted into a higher position!'

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

"Can you spare a few bricks ... I'm learning Karate."

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

'Love your renovations.'

'Jimmy, what are you doing? The whole house will fall apart!'