Renovation Fan Gifts

'Love your renovations.'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 3

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

"I know your sad it's being pulled down son."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"You've changed."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

"The court granted me a new identity!"

Scientists building a tower

Drusilla realised how different her boss looked now they met after hours.

'Still having problems finding day care?'

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

Folding Container.

Damn. Out of quarters again for the Pay Electron Microscope.

Thanks to an elaborate system of mirrors, every employee at Vecon Industries had a window view.

"Back in the industrial age, this was, I believe, a steel mill."

'I feel a leader should be approachable.'

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

"Can you spare a few bricks ... I'm learning Karate."

'You should have seen me when I was a caterpillar!'

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'Hey! This box of 'made in America' stickers has a sticker on it that says 'made in Taiwan'.'

'Jimmy, what are you doing? The whole house will fall apart!'

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

"And then, having shaped up, he shipped out."

"If we remove the stalactites and replace some rocks, we could flip it for a profit."

"This isn't a fixer upper. It's a down-and-outer."

'Yes the business has become bigger, but Fred still likes to work at home.'

'Well! Well! Look what the cat dragged home!...'