Heartbroken Humor Gifts

"Dear USPS - Julie Michael's mail is no longer in care of Apt. 8-B. She has moved out to Queens. Queens!! Can you believe it??? Three years I devoted to that woman! Oh, well. C'est la vie. I'll find someone else I suppose. Eventually. Yeah, right!"

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Romance

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

Phoenix

Barman In Love.

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

"We can deal with many heart related issues apart from 'a heart torn asunder by the meretricious behavior of a mendacious lover.'"

Caterpillars in love

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

Safe driver.

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

A dog with a heart shaped hole in his body

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

"I want something more out of this relationship. . . me!"

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

Valentines

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

I know you can't forget, but you should learn to forgive...

'Your heart is slightly larger but that's because you're an animal lover.'

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

Headstone in bird cage, "We really loved our budgie.."

'It feels great now, but you will see when it's pulled out.'

"I know you're a brain cell, but can't you act more like a heart cell?"

"Don't cry over her. There will be plenty of fish out of the sea."

Kissing Hands

Tunnel of Love - LGBT Friendly.

'Tech support? If I send a 'Dear John' email to someone named Bob, will it get through?'

Tears

Her tears flowed like wine.

A heart flies out during an operation.

"Come on now. It's not that bad. We never even had Paris."

"This here is a little number I wrote when I recovered a repressed memory."