Humorous Heartbreakers Gifts

'I love you, but I have to keep moving or I'll suffocate and die.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Romance

Sexual chemistry set

Phoenix

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

Barman In Love.

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

Zoo. It's wednesday again --- time to wash the camels. I hate "hump" day. (Published originally on July 20, 2005).

Brian the dog#3 - Brian now realised he was NOT man's best friend.

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

Caterpillars in love

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

"If we're to have a serious relationship Nigel, you must stop ringing my bell and running away."

Valentines

'Two can't live as cheaply as one, but we will get double - occupancy rates when we travel'

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

A dog with a heart shaped hole in his body

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

I know you can't forget, but you should learn to forgive...

Kissing Hands

Tunnel of Love - LGBT Friendly.

"I know you're a brain cell, but can't you act more like a heart cell?"

"This here is a little number I wrote when I recovered a repressed memory."

'Look pal, we're friends and all, but you need to get out more, meet some people...'

"When I first met him, he wanted to change the world for me. Now, I'm lucky if I can get him to change his underpants."

Love Mix Ups.

Especially for YOU! - Free Valentine hugs.

A heart flies out during an operation.

"Will you call me?"

"Dear USPS - Julie Michael's mail is no longer in care of Apt. 8-B. She has moved out to Queens. Queens!! Can you believe it??? Three years I devoted to that woman! Oh, well. C'est la vie. I'll find someone else I suppose. Eventually. Yeah, right!"

"Help! Help! I've fallen and I can't get over my old girlfriend!"

Heart ailments