Healthcare Worker With A Funny Bone Gifts

'I can give you something for depression.'

'Your shoe's untied.'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Happy Birthday to you.

'When I said that I needed a new mouse...'

Disorderlies

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"Let's not talk about your diagnosis. It depresses me too much."

'The plastic funnel will keep him from biting his stitches.'

Nurse cautioning a patient

'He still doesn't know how serious an amputation he's had, nurse, so try not to act too shocked.'

Plastic Surgery

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

You have a low grade fever.

'The amputation went well Mr. Johnstone but we have had one slight hiccup.'

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

'Sorry, we don't know as much as we'd like to about warming a stethoscope.'

'Yes, I suppose it's worth a try - after all we have nothing to lose.'

'You have the new disease that terrifies the medical community... It's cure is easy and cheap.'

'Recovery' 'Surgery' 'Pro shop'

"This is really a hospital with a touch of class. They collect urine samples in champagne glasses."

'I've mislaid a scalpel.'

'I don't need informed consent to take your temperature.'

"They don't prevent crime, but the videos make great blooper reels."

'Where should I put the dirty bed linen?' 'On the beds.'

"Anyone else for a prostate test?"

'You call all this a side-effect?'

"The next patient is complaining of a running nose."

"For goodness sake, lick the thread!"

'Fortunately, the virus is dormant. Just be careful you don't wake it up.'

"They said it'd take time to expel the air pumped in during the procedure"