Healthcare Worker With A Funny Bone Pillows

'I can give you something for depression.'

'Your shoe's untied.'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Happy Birthday to you.

'When I said that I needed a new mouse...'

Disorderlies

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

Nurse cautioning a patient

Plastic Surgery

'The plastic funnel will keep him from biting his stitches.'

'He still doesn't know how serious an amputation he's had, nurse, so try not to act too shocked.'

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'

You have a low grade fever.

'The amputation went well Mr. Johnstone but we have had one slight hiccup.'

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

'Yes, I suppose it's worth a try - after all we have nothing to lose.'

'Sorry, we don't know as much as we'd like to about warming a stethoscope.'

'Recovery' 'Surgery' 'Pro shop'

"This is really a hospital with a touch of class. They collect urine samples in champagne glasses."

'You have the new disease that terrifies the medical community... It's cure is easy and cheap.'

'I've mislaid a scalpel.'

'I don't need informed consent to take your temperature.'

"They don't prevent crime, but the videos make great blooper reels."

"They said it'd take time to expel the air pumped in during the procedure"

'You call all this a side-effect?'

"For goodness sake, lick the thread!"

'Where should I put the dirty bed linen?' 'On the beds.'

'Fortunately, the virus is dormant. Just be careful you don't wake it up.'

"Anyone else for a prostate test?"

"The next patient is complaining of a running nose."

"We got the results back from the post-mortem. It appears he was still alive before we started it."