Health Care Awareness Gifts

'The 'senior special' was two eggs, bacon, ham, cheese, hash browns and buttered toast for only $1.99. However, the two cholesterol lowering pills, I had to take, were four dollars each.'

'I've got a blister on my little toe.' - 'Is it infected?' - 'Not really.' - 'Just put a plaster on it, then.' - 'Would I be eligible for 'shop mobility' in the mean time?' - 'Get out!'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

Deaths from Coronavirus

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

Distance to avoid contagion

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

Coronavirus Global Alert

'Long shift?'

Cuba prevails over the Covid 19

"I have an exclusive license agreement with Pfizer Pharmaceutical."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"This isn't helping my migraine."

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

Healthcare declaration

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

I'm not evolving - I just thought I should lower my salt intake.

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'I can remember when no one had even heard of t'ai chi.'

Earth and the Coronavirus

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'