Healthcare Conscious Gifts

"Thanks to our household healthcare crisis, we get to enjoy Christmas outdoors this year."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

"Doc, my arm is killing me, but I don't know how I can afford care. My deductible is through the roof and I just got laid off my job."

Running

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

Wash your hands

I'm not evolving - I just thought I should lower my salt intake.

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'Must you always point out my floss?'

'Is it organic?'

Spring.

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"Scientists have found out that drinking alcohol can be dangerous...well, water can be dangerous, too!"

What's really in junk food...

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

'My prescription: digital textbooks.'

'Well you're an eye doctor aren't you'

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

"High sodium, high cholesterol, lots of toxins - your blood test is remarkably similar to cheap potato chips."

"Oh, I'm sorry. That procedure isn't covered. Now, spin the wheel to see what you'll pay."