Health-conscious Living Gifts

"Nope. Sometimes I drink water just to confuse my liver."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

On the back of the t-shirt...

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

The Fast Lane.

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Yoga vs. Prosecco

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

To do before Saturday...

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

The trim reaper

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'