Headline Hound Pillows

News: Clown found in hot tub with pigs

"And now for the evening news. . . I hope you're sitting down!"

"And in breaking news - the word 'unprecedented' has been used an unprecedented number of times during the past year."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"May we live in interesting times. And may we outlive them."

Netanyahu versus Gantz

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

Newspaper suicide.

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

Freedom of the press

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

Big Newspaper Delivery

Office of the Special Investigator: Stepped out to follow the 'money trail'.

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

'How fast can you hype?'

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

Hostage Crisis Continues: 'We don't care what the people voted for! We want out way!'

Anger Management - Now Treating "Electoral College Rage"

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

Mr Jefferson Brick Proposes a Toast at the 'Rowdy Journal' Offices

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

The Robert Mueller Rosetta Stone