Headline Hunter Pillows

'It says here that most people believe what they read in the papers.'

"The idea that the government introduces change for the SAKE of it is NONSENSE...we also introduce it so we have an endless stream of tabloid friendly headlines and meaningless sound bites."

Newpaper reads: Cable Out - 1000s forced to read.

"Here's what went wrong today."

'Remember Jones! It's not exaggeration if you believe it!'

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

Headline: 'Something happened but it was all over by the time we got there.'

"O.K., but what I'm about to tell you does not leave this news cycle."

Comparing the headlines of three different New York based newspapers.

"Extra! Extra! Read all about it for free on our website."

"FACTS, FACTS, FACTS...should never get in the way of a good story..."

The press under fire

'You've got bad news? Hey, that's good news!'

"...That translates as 'collapsing NHS allows war hero to die" - easy when you know how!"

'The public aren't panicking about bird flu!'

'And this is Paul, who writes our 'Voice of Sanity' column.'

Headlines Alarm People.

Editor says to journalist: 'I'm looking for a reporter who is imaginative. I did just say 'investigative', didn't I?'

This paper only prints the truth or the closest thing to it that doesn't get us sued for libel.

Yesterday's News Tomorrow.

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

"Forget what, who, where, why, when ... just get a soundbite."

Editor hanging himself, "Hold the front page."

"You look sensational!"

"For your stress test, I'm going to turn on the news..."

Daily News: City shocked by power outage.

'Man is crushed by safe in front of news stand.'

'And now a look at tomorrow's front pages - the Telegraph leads with 'ultimate makeover guide', while the Mail has 'a fantastic new you'...'

Newspaper mergers

"That's right! It's time for the news! Now man-up and face the gruesome details!"

"A fake-news news story turned out to be true. We apologize for the mistake!"

Shocking news

"They say that exaggerations are up by a billion percent this year."

Loot, Rape, Pillage Headlines.

"Sure it can be difficult to make up such crazy ideas for my stories. But that's what it takes to be a successful journalist."