Headline Hunter Gifts

'It says here that most people believe what they read in the papers.'

"The idea that the government introduces change for the SAKE of it is NONSENSE...we also introduce it so we have an endless stream of tabloid friendly headlines and meaningless sound bites."

Newpaper reads: Cable Out - 1000s forced to read.

"Here's what went wrong today."

'Remember Jones! It's not exaggeration if you believe it!'

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

Headline: 'Something happened but it was all over by the time we got there.'

"O.K., but what I'm about to tell you does not leave this news cycle."

"Extra! Extra! Read all about it for free on our website."

'You've got bad news? Hey, that's good news!'

"...That translates as 'collapsing NHS allows war hero to die" - easy when you know how!"

Headlines Alarm People.

'The public aren't panicking about bird flu!'

Editor says to journalist: 'I'm looking for a reporter who is imaginative. I did just say 'investigative', didn't I?'

The press under fire

"FACTS, FACTS, FACTS...should never get in the way of a good story..."

'And this is Paul, who writes our 'Voice of Sanity' column.'

Comparing the headlines of three different New York based newspapers.

Yesterday's News Tomorrow.

This paper only prints the truth or the closest thing to it that doesn't get us sued for libel.

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

Editor hanging himself, "Hold the front page."

"Forget what, who, where, why, when ... just get a soundbite."

"A fake-news news story turned out to be true. We apologize for the mistake!"

Hoping to encourage readers to buy the hard copy of the paper, the Journal Times Herald, only printed every other word in its online edition.

Newspaper mergers

'Man is crushed by safe in front of news stand.'

'And now a look at tomorrow's front pages - the Telegraph leads with 'ultimate makeover guide', while the Mail has 'a fantastic new you'...'

'And now a quick glance at tonight's top news stories.... Yikes!'

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

"That's right! It's time for the news! Now man-up and face the gruesome details!"

"They say that exaggerations are up by a billion percent this year."

'Man falls into newspaper printing machine'.

"You look sensational!"

Loot, Rape, Pillage Headlines.