Headline Hustler Gifts

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

'Would you all please congatulate...'

Newspaper suicide.

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

Freedom of the press

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

'How fast can you hype?'

Big Newspaper Delivery

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

News Headline Reads - 'Man Bites Feral Media'.

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

The Real American Dream

"Here's what went wrong today."

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

"I'll have my article pulled together in no time."

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

Newspaper

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

"In financial news, stocks were down, bonds were up. In world news, democracies were down, dictatorships were up."

"We made mistakes & have evidently lost the trust of the public. Therefore I feel I must tender my resignation..."

'No comment for now, but there will be a press leak at four.'

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

'Inflated gloom!'