Headline Hero Gifts

"I'll have my article pulled together in no time."

Freedom of the press

Tabloid Times. Headline Dept. Ernie, what's your headline for the story about the stodgy banker who mixed with a fast crowd and ruined his marriage? Big square falls into wrong circle causing fatal triangle.

The Owl Tribune. Editor. You got the what, where, when, why and how -- I can't believe you forgot the who!

I think a carjacking story needs a more dramatic headline than "Man Held Up in Traffic."

Headline Writing Dept. Ernie, what's your headline for the story about oil getting harder to find and extract? "Fewer Facile Fossil Fuels."

Newspaper Co. Sports Desk. Ernie, we need headlines for our series of articles on sports stars trying to revive their careers. Let's start with the Australian athlete. "Boomerang Thrower's Comeback." A basketball player bulked up to become competitive again. "Hoopster Muscles Way to Rebound"! The tennis star overcame a serious illness and is back on the court. "Tennis Champ Rallies: Makes Exciting Return"! The skier, on the other hand, had to retire. He's a politician in a dirty electi

Daily News. Headline Writing Dept. How about this story, Ernie? ... Blonde twins parachuted nude to win a bet! Fair pair use air scare for bare dare!

An expletive of editors

'How is this for a headline: Climate change denial blogs cause further global warming.'

Some days I just burst with pride being a journalist.

"If the news bother you so much, turn if off."

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

Newspaper suicide.

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

The Expert

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

News for Sale

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

'How fast can you hype?'

Big Newspaper Delivery

'I didn't read that scene, but I did highlight several passages.'

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

'The pound looks strong to day. Yes, against the Zambesi bean.'

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"! (Published originally on March 2, 2009.)

News Headline Reads - 'Man Bites Feral Media'.

"Here's what went wrong today."

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

Magazine stand in middle of the desert.