Headline Creator Gifts

"Quick - make something up, I've got a space to fill."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

Fear of news.

Newspaper suicide.

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

Freedom of the press

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

Big Newspaper Delivery

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

News Headline Reads - 'Man Bites Feral Media'.

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

'The pound looks strong to day. Yes, against the Zambesi bean.'

"Here's what went wrong today."

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

"I'll have my article pulled together in no time."

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

'How is this for a headline: Climate change denial blogs cause further global warming.'

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

The Daily Fury

"In financial news, stocks were down, bonds were up. In world news, democracies were down, dictatorships were up."

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'