Headline Maker Gifts

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

"I feel a term in congress generating headlines is a good practice for a future as a highly paid media provocateur."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

Fear of news.

Newspaper suicide.

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

Freedom of the press

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

'How fast can you hype?'

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

Big Newspaper Delivery

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

'The pound looks strong to day. Yes, against the Zambesi bean.'

News Headline Reads - 'Man Bites Feral Media'.

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

"Here's what went wrong today."

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

"I'll have my article pulled together in no time."

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

'No comment for now, but there will be a press leak at four.'

Newspaper

"We made mistakes & have evidently lost the trust of the public. Therefore I feel I must tender my resignation..."

'Inflated gloom!'

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

"In financial news, stocks were down, bonds were up. In world news, democracies were down, dictatorships were up."