Headline Maker T-Shirts

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

"I feel a term in congress generating headlines is a good practice for a future as a highly paid media provocateur."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

Fear of news.

Newspaper suicide.

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

Freedom of the press

News for Sale

'How fast can you hype?'

The Expert

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

Big Newspaper Delivery

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

'The pound looks strong to day. Yes, against the Zambesi bean.'

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"! (Published originally on March 2, 2009.)

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

News Headline Reads - 'Man Bites Feral Media'.

"Here's what went wrong today."

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

"I'll have my article pulled together in no time."

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

Magazine stand in middle of the desert.

"We made mistakes & have evidently lost the trust of the public. Therefore I feel I must tender my resignation..."

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

"In financial news, stocks were down, bonds were up. In world news, democracies were down, dictatorships were up."

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'