Headline Hacker Gifts

Idea! Waste it on someone else. I know how I can spend my spare time now that my work hours have been cut. Citizen journalist. What did you know and when did you know it?! Oh brother.

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

Weird things I do because of the internet

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

Fear of news.

Newspaper suicide.

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

Big Newspaper Delivery

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

News for Sale

The Expert

News Headline Reads - 'Man Bites Feral Media'.

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"! (Published originally on March 2, 2009.)

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

'The pound looks strong to day. Yes, against the Zambesi bean.'

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

"Here's what went wrong today."

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

'Life if so much simpler since we called Family Ref.'

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

Magazine stand in middle of the desert.

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

Daily News Headline Writing Dept. Here's a story about a Colorado appliance salesperson involved in an auto mishap … "Denver blender vendor in fender bender!"

The Daily Fury

"In financial news, stocks were down, bonds were up. In world news, democracies were down, dictatorships were up."

Newspaper