Headline Hacker Prints

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

Weird things I do because of the internet

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

Fear of news.

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

Newspaper suicide.

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

Big Newspaper Delivery

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

News Headline Reads - 'Man Bites Feral Media'.

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

'The pound looks strong to day. Yes, against the Zambesi bean.'

"Here's what went wrong today."

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

'Life if so much simpler since we called Family Ref.'

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

The Daily Fury

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

"In financial news, stocks were down, bonds were up. In world news, democracies were down, dictatorships were up."

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'