Headline Hustler Prints

'Mirror, mirror on the wall...who is the jammiest of them all?'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

'Would you all please congatulate...'

Newspaper suicide.

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

Freedom of the press

News for Sale

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

The Expert

'How fast can you hype?'

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

Big Newspaper Delivery

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

News Headline Reads - 'Man Bites Feral Media'.

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"! (Published originally on March 2, 2009.)

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

The Real American Dream

"Here's what went wrong today."

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

"I'll have my article pulled together in no time."

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

Magazine stand in middle of the desert.

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

"We made mistakes & have evidently lost the trust of the public. Therefore I feel I must tender my resignation..."

"In financial news, stocks were down, bonds were up. In world news, democracies were down, dictatorships were up."

'No comment for now, but there will be a press leak at four.'

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"!

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

The Daily Fury

'How is this for a headline: Climate change denial blogs cause further global warming.'

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"