Happy Hour Humorist Gifts

"Oh, come on—it's 8 a.m. somewhere."

"We've changed 'Happy Hour' to 'An Interlude for Reflection'."

Happy Hour 5-7. Speaking as an attorney, I'm seriously considering bringing a class-action suit against this place for your misleading use of the word "happy."

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

'All drinks are double the normal price - it makes me happy.'

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

Did You Know That...the worlds smallest wine glass (200,000 times smaller than normal)has been invented by the Japanese?

'With all the stresses and worries out there, happy hour no longer seemed to work.'

"Sorry, happy hour finished at 8:30."

Drunk Baby

Ice Cream Surgeon

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"I'm working from home today."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"What other tricks does he need?"

Replacement Bus Spotters.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Fishing - No. IX

Elevator Music

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'PHWOAR! You should have seen her rear end when she sat on the piano. . . played 'TINK' and 'BOOM' at the same time!'

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

'It feels warm enough to me.'

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

"Yes, I'm working from home, and my kids are here helping me."

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

"How long have you been working from home, Mr. Farley?"

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

'The Orginial Big Band sound'

"If you won't let me work from home, then I'll just home from work."