Concert Humorist Gifts

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

'Don't say anything!'

"It's amazing how they manage to endure despite all the lineup changes."

Zane pulls the emergency chord.

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

Elevator Music

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Guitar pickin'

Rap-scallions

'PHWOAR! You should have seen her rear end when she sat on the piano. . . played 'TINK' and 'BOOM' at the same time!'

Double Saxophone

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

Edward Elgar.

'Never mind singing it in rap...a simple 'I do' will suffice.''

"Ding" "Dong"

Magic Act

No Instruments Please

Dr. Phil takes it home.

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

"Y'know, sooner or later we're going to have to let her go out unaccompanied."

"There can be no doubt. This proves it. We gotta have more cow bell."

'The Orginial Big Band sound'