Concert Goer Humourist Gifts

'Not for me luv - you know I'm diabetic!'

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

Rhapsody in Blue.

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

George Michael

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

Elvis Presley

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Italica

Jarvis Cocker

Radiator jazz player

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

Eric Clapton.

"Free Bird!"

"The last time I heard a beat like this I was at a Grateful Dead concert."

Hey, I think I found something. Heavy metal detector.

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

'I've got two tickets to Handel's Messiah -- What time do you get off work?'

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

Six jazz instruments.

Liam Gallagher.

Fuzz - Max has the taste of success.

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

Songbird.

Jeff Beck.

"The guy who wrote 'The Frog Chorus' is sounding kinda croaky."

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

Super Bowl Halftime Show Barbra Streisand reads from her memoir.

Jimi Hendrix.

"Oh, yes - BEAUTIFUL singer he was - but could he snap his fingers. . ?"