Comedy Concertgoer Gifts

How to deliver a baby grand.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

Rhapsody in Blue.

EWE 2.

George Michael

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

Elvis Presley

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

Italica

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

Jarvis Cocker

"The last time I heard a beat like this I was at a Grateful Dead concert."

'I've got two tickets to Handel's Messiah -- What time do you get off work?'

Johannes Sebastian Bach

Eric Clapton.

"Free Bird!"

Hey, I think I found something. Heavy metal detector.

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

Six jazz instruments.

Liam Gallagher.

Jeff Beck.

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

"This next song is just a song. Try not to read anything into it."

Super Bowl Halftime Show Barbra Streisand reads from her memoir.

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

Songbird.

Steve Howe.

Fuzz - Max has the taste of success.

"The guy who wrote 'The Frog Chorus' is sounding kinda croaky."

Jimi Hendrix.

Young boy thinks he's spotted an old rocker.

"Oh, yes - BEAUTIFUL singer he was - but could he snap his fingers. . ?"

George Michael