Concert-goer With A Love For Humor Gifts

The Swan.

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

Note Book

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

Musical Eye Test

Ozzy Osbourne bites the head off a chocolate bunny at his easter concert.

How to deliver a baby grand.

'What colour is a hiccup?'

"Too much to drink, a tattoo parlor, a dare and..."

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

Giacomo Meyerbeer.

Unconventional Music Player

"So obvious, there all the time"

'Flying is fine. Harping is fine. Flying while harping is not fine.'

'You'll have to give up wine and women. You can sing, but only Julie Andrews numbers.'

The one thing that drives elephants wild is sickeningly sweet elevator music.

"It's a slow hit man!"

The Only Orchestra In the world with a Mime.

"I didn't send for a music teacher."

'Don't say anything!'

"Okay babe - let's rock and roll."

Parts of a Bagpipe

It was the bottom of the ninth and the bassists were loaded. O

It soon became obvious to all in the theatre that Doug's Bach was worse than his bite.

Contrabassoon

'I've checked the patient's records and he likes Buddy Holly and James Last.'

"It doesn't go 'baaroom' anymore. It only goes 'beep.'"

'Not much of a support group are they.'

Boy Plays Flute With Backside

"It's amazing how they manage to endure despite all the lineup changes."

'If you sing 'If I Had a Hammer' one more time, I'm going to hit you with one.'

"He's been performing longer than Mick Jagger."