Concert-goer With A Love For Humor Gifts

The Swan.

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

Note Book

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

Musical Eye Test

How to deliver a baby grand.

'What colour is a hiccup?'

"Too much to drink, a tattoo parlor, a dare and..."

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

Unconventional Music Player

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

"So obvious, there all the time"

Giacomo Meyerbeer.

Parts of a Bagpipe

The one thing that drives elephants wild is sickeningly sweet elevator music.

"Okay babe - let's rock and roll."

"It's a slow hit man!"

'Don't say anything!'

The Only Orchestra In the world with a Mime.

'You'll have to give up wine and women. You can sing, but only Julie Andrews numbers.'

It soon became obvious to all in the theatre that Doug's Bach was worse than his bite.

'I've checked the patient's records and he likes Buddy Holly and James Last.'

Contrabassoon

You don't have to be tone deaf to work here but it helps.

Boy Plays Flute With Backside

"It's amazing how they manage to endure despite all the lineup changes."

'Not much of a support group are they.'

'If you sing 'If I Had a Hammer' one more time, I'm going to hit you with one.'

"That was a truly ham-fisted attempt at Vivaldi!"

"It doesn't go 'baaroom' anymore. It only goes 'beep.'"