Grumpy Gourmet Gifts

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Tuna on rye, hold the smile."

"No more cross buns for you!"

'Sunnyside down.'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Grumpy old merry men.

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"Oh my God with the singing!"

'Mine was stone cold.'

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

Grumpy Old Men

"I want some flowers that say 'Here, have some friggin' flowers.'"

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"I'd like seconds!"

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

'Self-help books for cynics'

'Don't give up hope - Anthony Bourdain is bound to show up sooner or later.'

"Stop moaning - you'll ruin our weekend away..."

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

'FQ...?'

". . . ashes to ashes, dust to dust, a handful of ground coriander, the zest of a lemon. . ."

"My aged cheddar died!"