Grumpy Gourmet T-Shirts

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Tuna on rye, hold the smile."

"No more cross buns for you!"

'Sunnyside down.'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

Grumpy old merry men.

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"Oh my God with the singing!"

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

'Mine was stone cold.'

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

Grumpy Old Men

"I want some flowers that say 'Here, have some friggin' flowers.'"

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

"I'd like seconds!"

'Kids get right up my nose!'

'Self-help books for cynics'

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

"Stop moaning - you'll ruin our weekend away..."

'FQ...?'

". . . ashes to ashes, dust to dust, a handful of ground coriander, the zest of a lemon. . ."

"My aged cheddar died!"

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

'The dietary exchange for this food is 3 days of unrelenting remorse.'

'Which of the high cholesterol foods are the safest?'