Grumpy Enthusiast T-Shirts

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Grumpy Old Men

Oh, I'm sure you'd enjoy dinner at the Finnegans' dear - Helen's husband is an old grump.

'Kids get right up my nose!'

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"I hate it..."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

Grumpy old merry men.

Old Man Journal

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

"You have a certain kind of charm, haven't you, Mr. Beadle? Well, that's all right. I'm not totally opposed to charm."

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

"You have the Hum bug.'

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

'Self-help books for cynics'

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

'It's not just drugs - Fenton has zero tolerance for everything!'

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

'FQ...?'

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

Uncle Murray Weekly

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'