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Med Alert: Heart Condition, Diabetes, BP/Sugar Meds, Cantankerous.

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

'To what do you attribute your longevity?'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'Why am I such a grouch?'

Grumpy old merry men.

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

"You have the Hum bug.'

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

Everyone at happy hour is grumpy.

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

'Cheer up...'

Grumpy Old Men

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

'Self-help books for cynics'

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

I HATE STUFF

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

'Don't you snap at me, mister!'

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

'Dinner.'