Grumpy Aficionado T-Shirts

"I'll have a nice day when I get damn good and ready."

'You're ticking me off!'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"I hate it..."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Grumpy old merry men.

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

"You have a certain kind of charm, haven't you, Mr. Beadle? Well, that's all right. I'm not totally opposed to charm."

"You have the Hum bug.'

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

Grumpy Old Men

'Self-help books for cynics'

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"Actually, lactose is the only thing Herb isn't intolerant of."

'It's not just drugs - Fenton has zero tolerance for everything!'

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Uncle Murray Weekly

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

'Remind me, what should I be thanking my lucky stars for?'

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

'I know a trap when I see one.'

'When did I become so old and morose?' 'I know. It seems only yesterday you were young and morose.'

"He's angry about getting old."

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'