Grumpy Aficionado Pillows

"I'll have a nice day when I get damn good and ready."

'You're ticking me off!'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"I hate it..."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Grumpy old merry men.

"You have a certain kind of charm, haven't you, Mr. Beadle? Well, that's all right. I'm not totally opposed to charm."

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

"You have the Hum bug.'

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

Grumpy Old Men

'Kids get right up my nose!'

'Self-help books for cynics'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

'It's not just drugs - Fenton has zero tolerance for everything!'

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Uncle Murray Weekly

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

'Remind me, what should I be thanking my lucky stars for?'

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

"He's angry about getting old."

'I know a trap when I see one.'

"You say every Winter is your 'Winter of discontent'."

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'