Grumpy Teen Enthusiast Pillows

'I know a trap when I see one.'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

"I hate it..."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Grumpy old merry men.

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

Grumpy Old Men

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

'Self-help books for cynics'

'Kids get right up my nose!'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

'It's not just drugs - Fenton has zero tolerance for everything!'

'I was a teenager once too, dear.'

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

Zit: Pus based life-form whose main habitat is the teenage face. Normally peaceable, but he can react violently if threatened.

Proud to be a senior citizen and Just give me my damn discount T-Shirts.

"Ha ha. Stop by and say hello to your mother. Ha ha, that's a good one!"

'Your dad can't go on there-the miserable git hasn't got any friends to phone!'

"You're my precious little boo!"

'Always arguing, questioning, no patience, no respect for authority...'

"You hearing aid you miserable, mean, catankerous old git."

Why did the dog cross the road? Because he woke me up from a nap.

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'