Grumpy Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

Grumpy old merry men.

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'Self-help books for cynics'

"You hearing aid you miserable, mean, catankerous old git."

"Yes M'lord, I did shout 'I hate Santa Claus' in the department store, but it isn't a crime!"

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

"Cold? You're cold! I grew up during the ice age!"

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"I hate it..."

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

Old Man Journal

"You have the Hum bug.'

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

Grumpy Old Men

'I know how you feel.'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

Uncle Murray Weekly

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

"Oh, my arthurs a breeder too, contempt mainly!"

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

"We managed to resuscitate him, but he's still very critical."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

'The problem with politics is politicians!'