Grumpy Humor Fan Pillows

"The tests show you have an overactive grumpy gene."

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

The Sour Grapes and its 'Happy Hour' Ban.

'Your dad can't go on there-the miserable git hasn't got any friends to phone!'

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

"Actually, lactose is the only thing Herb isn't intolerant of."

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"I hate it..."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Grumpy old merry men.

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

Old Man Journal

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

"You have the Hum bug.'

Grumpy Old Men

'I know how you feel.'

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

'Kids get right up my nose!'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

'Self-help books for cynics'

'It's not just drugs - Fenton has zero tolerance for everything!'

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Uncle Murray Weekly

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

"Oh, my arthurs a breeder too, contempt mainly!"

"We managed to resuscitate him, but he's still very critical."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'