Grumpy Old Man Humor Aficionado Pillows

"We managed to resuscitate him, but he's still very critical."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Grumpy old merry men.

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

'I know how you feel.'

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

'Self-help books for cynics'

'You are always living in the past!'

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

"My back goes out more often than I do..."

"Yes, when I was young, I was a golden retriever: I'm more like a silver retriever now..."

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

"Oh, my arthurs a breeder too, contempt mainly!"

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

"It's the Florida kid."

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

"I'd like to buy you a drink, beautiful... but I forgot my wallet in my pants and my pants at home."

Early season snow and the following thaw got all the snowmen grumbling...

An old Dracula's false teeth fall out.

"Kick me"

"Ernie!! Watch the speed bu....."

"He's angry about getting old."

"You hearing aid you miserable, mean, catankerous old git."