Grumpy Old Man Humor Aficionado Gifts

"We managed to resuscitate him, but he's still very critical."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

Grumpy old merry men.

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

'I know how you feel.'

"Actually, lactose is the only thing Herb isn't intolerant of."

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

'Self-help books for cynics'

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

'You are always living in the past!'

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

"My back goes out more often than I do..."

"Yes, when I was young, I was a golden retriever: I'm more like a silver retriever now..."

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

"Oh, my arthurs a breeder too, contempt mainly!"

"It's the Florida kid."

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

"I'd like to buy you a drink, beautiful... but I forgot my wallet in my pants and my pants at home."

An old Dracula's false teeth fall out.

"Kick me"

Early season snow and the following thaw got all the snowmen grumbling...

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

"He's angry about getting old."

"Ernie!! Watch the speed bu....."

'When did I become so old and morose?' 'I know. It seems only yesterday you were young and morose.'

"You hearing aid you miserable, mean, catankerous old git."