Grumpy Old Men Appreciator Gifts

Bert escalates his war on inanity: Warning! Actually saying LOL will be hazardous to your health.

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

The Final Selfie

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

"...but, seriously..."

Old Tortoise

Grumpy Old Men

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"I've finally got my head together."

'I occasionally go out for a walk, and I buy groceries every two weeks or so. I wonder if I qualify as a recluse.'

'According to these statistics you'll probably outlive me...'

'FQ...?'

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

"We managed to resuscitate him, but he's still very critical."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Bakery Window: Cross Buns and Cross Gingerbread Men!

"It's armageddon week on TV. The death of hope always lightens his mood."

"Tireless worker? Well, when I was young, yes, but not anymore I can tell you..."

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

"I'm sixty-six – I don't want to see puppets in anything."

Crappy Diem

'What are you annoyed about now?'

"He's angry about getting old."

"Mr. Stephenson is the subject of a widely anticipated obituary."

'God knows where you libido went!'

"OK. You're the Ghost of Christmas Present. Quite amusing. Now go away!"

"Stick-in-the-mud Cruise"

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'

"I bet those candles are heavier than the cake!"