Grumpy Old Men Fans Gifts

"I'm sixty-six – I don't want to see puppets in anything."

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."

"You have a certain kind of charm, haven't you, Mr. Beadle? Well, that's all right. I'm not totally opposed to charm."

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

"You have the Hum bug.'

Grumpy Old Men

"Meals on wheels? More like muck on a truck"

"Actually, lactose is the only thing Herb isn't intolerant of."

'Kids get right up my nose!'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

'It's not just drugs - Fenton has zero tolerance for everything!'

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'Good Morning!'

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Uncle Murray Weekly

"We managed to resuscitate him, but he's still very critical."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

"Sorry I'm late, dad! Which number?"

Early season snow and the following thaw got all the snowmen grumbling...

"He's angry about getting old."

'When did I become so old and morose?' 'I know. It seems only yesterday you were young and morose.'

Bad King Wenceslas

Why weathermen are forced to retire at 55.

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 5

'Your dad can't go on there-the miserable git hasn't got any friends to phone!'

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'

"The tests show you have an overactive grumpy gene."

The Church of the Wholly Cross

The Sour Grapes and its 'Happy Hour' Ban.

Callers of an impatient or grumpy disposition may widh to hang up at this stage.