Grumpy Old Man Fan Gifts

'What's the proper name for a Portuguese senior?'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Grumpy old merry men.

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."

"You have a certain kind of charm, haven't you, Mr. Beadle? Well, that's all right. I'm not totally opposed to charm."

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

Grumpy Old Men

"Meals on wheels? More like muck on a truck"

"Actually, lactose is the only thing Herb isn't intolerant of."

'Self-help books for cynics'

'Kids get right up my nose!'

'It's not just drugs - Fenton has zero tolerance for everything!'

'I occasionally go out for a walk, and I buy groceries every two weeks or so. I wonder if I qualify as a recluse.'

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

"We managed to resuscitate him, but he's still very critical."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

Early season snow and the following thaw got all the snowmen grumbling...

'With your two left feet you ain't got a prayer, mate!'

"I'm sixty-six – I don't want to see puppets in anything."

"He's angry about getting old."

Bad King Wenceslas

"You're my precious little boo!"

'I know it's wrong, but it feels so right'

Why did the dog cross the road? Because he woke me up from a nap.

'Your dad can't go on there-the miserable git hasn't got any friends to phone!'

"You hearing aid you miserable, mean, catankerous old git."

'Always arguing, questioning, no patience, no respect for authority...'

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'

"The tests show you have an overactive grumpy gene."

"Yes M'lord, I did shout 'I hate Santa Claus' in the department store, but it isn't a crime!"