Grumpy Enthusiast Gifts

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Grumpy Old Men

Oh, I'm sure you'd enjoy dinner at the Finnegans' dear - Helen's husband is an old grump.

'Kids get right up my nose!'

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"I hate it..."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

Grumpy old merry men.

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"You have a certain kind of charm, haven't you, Mr. Beadle? Well, that's all right. I'm not totally opposed to charm."

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

Old Man Journal

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

"You have the Hum bug.'

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"Actually, lactose is the only thing Herb isn't intolerant of."

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

'Self-help books for cynics'

'It's not just drugs - Fenton has zero tolerance for everything!'

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'FQ...?'

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish