Grumpy Old Man Enthusiast Gifts

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"I hate it..."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Grumpy old merry men.

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

"You have a certain kind of charm, haven't you, Mr. Beadle? Well, that's all right. I'm not totally opposed to charm."

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

Grumpy Old Men

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

'Kids get right up my nose!'

'Self-help books for cynics'

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'I occasionally go out for a walk, and I buy groceries every two weeks or so. I wonder if I qualify as a recluse.'

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Uncle Murray Weekly

"We managed to resuscitate him, but he's still very critical."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

"I'm sixty-six – I don't want to see puppets in anything."

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

"He's a curmudgeon now, but he used to be just a mean old bastard."

'I know a trap when I see one.'

Old woman staring at pregnant woman's bump.

"He's angry about getting old."

Why weathermen are forced to retire at 55.

'Always arguing, questioning, no patience, no respect for authority...'

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'

"You hearing aid you miserable, mean, catankerous old git."