Grumpy Friend Appreciator Gifts

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"I hate it..."

"Oh my God with the singing!"

Grumpy Old Men

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

'I occasionally go out for a walk, and I buy groceries every two weeks or so. I wonder if I qualify as a recluse.'

Uncle Murray Weekly

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

"It's armageddon week on TV. The death of hope always lightens his mood."

'What are you annoyed about now?'

'Did he just flip me the feeding fish?'

Crappy Diem

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

Bakery Window: Cross Buns and Cross Gingerbread Men!

"He's a curmudgeon now, but he used to be just a mean old bastard."

Old woman staring at pregnant woman's bump.

"Mr. Stephenson is the subject of a widely anticipated obituary."

'Always arguing, questioning, no patience, no respect for authority...'

"You say every Winter is your 'Winter of discontent'."

I don't know what my beef is today...

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'

Never Satisfied.