Grumpy Elder Appreciator Gifts

'I occasionally go out for a walk, and I buy groceries every two weeks or so. I wonder if I qualify as a recluse.'

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

The Final Selfie

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

"...but, seriously..."

Old Tortoise

"I've finally got my head together."

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'According to these statistics you'll probably outlive me...'

"Are you binge watching again?"

'FQ...?'

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

'Try not to take offense when he says - 'Of all the hip joints in all the world etc etc.''

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

How Aging Affects Candles. . .

"It's armageddon week on TV. The death of hope always lightens his mood."

Bakery Window: Cross Buns and Cross Gingerbread Men!

"Tireless worker? Well, when I was young, yes, but not anymore I can tell you..."

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

"He's a curmudgeon now, but he used to be just a mean old bastard."

Old woman staring at pregnant woman's bump.

"OK. You're the Ghost of Christmas Present. Quite amusing. Now go away!"

"I bet those candles are heavier than the cake!"

Complaints Department

'God knows where you libido went!'

"Stick-in-the-mud Cruise"

'911..I'd like to report a crime...identity theft...I've become my mother!'

'Grandpa, how did you settle things before litigation?'

"You're not fooling anyone trying to cover up your age."

'Eh...has anyone got a pencil?'

"Not exactly the kind of morale boosting I had in mind."

'Did somebody order a Grumpy Meal?'

'There wasn't much of a collection I'm afraid. Most of the people who really liked you are dead.'